We go back to a moment in time and we fixate on the things we wish we had done differently. It makes it hard to remember things that happened before or after. We blame ourselves for certain things that happened – sometimes rightfully, and sometimes not. With all those articles (that you should go back and check out if you haven’t read them), it would be easy to assume we have said all there is to say.
內容目錄
What’s the Difference Between Making Amends and an Apology?
This person should have already worked on step nine, so they understand what it takes and can help guide you through it. When you’re ready to make amends, you can find support to guide you through the process. Connect with 12-Step treatment programs to start planning your recovery.
If You’re Struggling to Make Amends
- The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines amends as “compensation for a loss or injury”.
- When you cannot directly make up for something to the person you hurt, a living amends is a decision to change your ongoing behavior in a way that is informed by the wrongdoing.
- It also offers others a chance to gain resolution or a deeper understanding of your recovery journey.
- Some people on this list may be harder to approach, so readiness is key.
- Many individuals know that they need to apologize to someone they love but fail to do so out of pride or ego.
Be willing to listen to the other person’s point of view. Take action to correct past mistakes—for example, paying someone back. Accept responsibility for the impact of your actions on others. Today, I know my words have value whether they pay attention or not. If they didn’t pay attention, I do my best to let them suffer the consequence. If they take my words for granted, sometimes, I take a break from talking.
Join our Mailing List
If making an amends means exposing ourselves to triggering environments, we ought to reconsider and discuss healthy alternatives with a sponsor or addiction counselor. On the surface, making amends might sound as simple as Sober living home offering a sincere apology for your treatment of others, but there’s more to this cornerstone Twelve Step practice. Below, experts at Hazelden Betty Ford’s Connection™ recovery coaching program answer frequently asked questions about this reconciliation process and why it’s so vital to addiction recovery and spiritual health. Undoubtedly, you, too, have a list of ways in which you want to live out your living amends, and that’s great! The more personalized your lifestyle changes are, the more they’re going to resonate and stick with you.
By taking on the responsibility to sincerely apologize, an individual continues to build self-confidence and reinforce personal integrity. Then, though in some cases a heartfelt apology may be all that is called for, an apology is also not all that amends could or should be. Never force someone to resume a relationship with you when they are not ready or willing. Calls to the general helpline will be answered by a paid advertiser of one of our treatment partners.
If you’re familiar with substance use recovery and 12-step programs, the idea of “living amends” might ring a bell. When you cannot directly make up for something to the person you hurt, a living amends is a decision to change your ongoing behavior in a way that is informed by the wrongdoing. Your ‘living amends’ is living in a way that that acknowledges the previous mistake by consistently living in a way that doesn’t repeat it or compensates for it. Living amends can help you rid yourself of the pain of guilt and the need to constantly say “I’m sorry” to the people you’ve wronged in your life. When a person has died, you can still make amends for your actions.
And it can be intimidating to be uncertain about how the other person will react. Nestled in the private hills of Los Angeles, Hollywood Hills Recovery is a boutique substance use treatment center offering holistic care. Builds confidence in the path to sobriety by providing client-centered, evidence-based care for the complex needs of mental health and substance use conditions. Many people find that the support they receive from AA meetings helps them prepare to make amends. Talking with your sober community about your history with drugs or alcohol can help you identify what you need to make amends for.
I’m In Recovery
- Deathbed promises are a common way people make living amends.
- By confronting past mistakes, you begin to put the past behind and embrace a brighter, healthier future.
- You likely have a lot of emotions surrounding the situation.
- Step Nine states that we make amends “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We don’t want our actions to cause further damage, harm or stress.
- Think of amends as actions taken that demonstrate your new way of life in recovery, whereas apologies are basically words.
An apology is expressing regret or saying sorry for causing harm to someone. Amends often include apologies, but they go beyond words. Making an amend means taking accountability and action to repair any damages done. Through these restorative actions, you demonstrate your commitment to change. Enrolling in an intensive outpatient program (IOP) can provide you with the tools and support you need to successfully make amends and commit to a new sober lifestyle.
Committing to Family Therapy
You might consider writing a letter, which may help you organize your thoughts and communicate more clearly. If you are unsure of how you should make amends in a certain situation, you can consult with your sponsor or counselor about it. He or she will have helpful advice and wisdom that may help you make the right decision on living amends meaning how to proceed. He’s a teenager, so I try to let him function at that age level.
A 12-step program fosters long-term recovery through spirituality, growth, and accountability. Each step presents challenges that encourage change in mindset and behavior. Mutual Aid, peer led support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous guide members to work through these steps to maintain sobriety and help others. Sometimes, you may not have the opportunity to make direct amends to the person you harmed.